I kind of marvel at the way that acquaintances become best friends and even lovers in that mid-night haze. It's another world. We take each other by the hand and we find it. We go to that place together. A world of loud music, loud feelings, loud mouths, loud thoughts and ideas and everything is loud and bursting inside of us. Except the light, which softens everything, especially our hearts. We get tired but never tired enough; we can go on like this forever. From oblivion to oblivion, we wake up and find that not everything that was true last night is still true. It's a disillusionment. We move along.

ACK.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

(The girl in the previous post isn't Jade la!)
Hehe, I know it's quite late to wish Merry Christmas but whatever. Everyday should be Christmas, don't ya think?

Anyways, got a new hair cut but I'm lazy to take a photo of it. AND..

I've been going out alot, alot, alotttttttttttttttttttttttttt. This totally means wasting money when I don't even have a job this holiday and buying unnecessary stuffs (in other words, shopping) BUT I DON'T CARE. Life = Enjoy, right? Right? Okay, right. So two days ago I went out with Sharlene Warlene! The rain didn't spoil the mood, instead we went major and crazy on retail therapy. "Should I get this?", "Should I get that? Oh my god, but later not enough money to get that!", "OMG, SO PRETTY, I WANT.", "Shit la, no money" but we didn't care! Haha, finally found the pair of jelly shoes but it gave me bad blisters, baaaaad. But all's good cos I got the jelly wellies. HEHEHE.

Yesterday, I met Syam and we went to Ann Siang. Luckily, it didn't took us long to look for the place. Everything felt minty there and minty in a good way though. I'll definitely wanna go there again and check out that super duper weird shop. Not to mention, on a bad note, I stepped on dog poo :\ Okay not worth mentioning but I felt like saying it somewhere. Okay, so now, laugh.
HA-HA-HA. Kk, not funny, so let's move on.

Then today met Timmoo. And we went town and he got me the necklace I've been eyeing for from Far East. WOO, thanks yo.

Okay, I'm lazy to continue so BYE. ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Hello,

I'm going to be a storm chaser.

The end.

FROU FROU!!

It's late, I should be sleeping.

Anyone of you written letters that you just couldn't send? For fear of rejection, or being laughed at or just plain freaking someone out. I sure as hell wrote thousands of them and I sent one out today.

I hope he isn't freaked out.

I don't want to feel so invisible anymore, someone talk to me.

WHAT'S <3 ?

Complete and total adoration, my gift to you, my heart was yours. In ten weeks you shaped it, in one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, that first step that you took was the worst. Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence and short remark, and I still have these memories, but we'll never see what we could have been. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember, cause that's all you can do. We'll never make another memory, we'll never make another memory. I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together, so I wouldn't have to wake without you today. This time I thought things were real. You said they were. What happened? You were a priority, was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. You knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart, I'm sorry that wasn't enough. So, we'll go our own ways, and hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you, hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, but I guess I've learned from it. But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way, cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it. Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

Daymn.

I'm too lazy to blog about what's been happening. But all were, good things and good things. Not going anywhere for holidays, no cash, but fun is still here cause I have them all good friends and company. I need to go Christmas shopping fast, fast, fast. But then again, $$$ :(
I haven't even got the photos cause Ruby is always closed. I always go at the wrong time, it's frustrating. Yesterday, secondary school class bbq/chalet at Pasir Ris. Wasn't that fun, but we got to meet up with each other and we took photos and stuffs like that. After that lepaked at Adel's house and crapped and talked till midnight then caught a cab and went home.
You know, these few days, I've been making friends with weird people. And I don't know what's my connection with Indian people. It's not that I have anything against Indians (sorry if you happen to be reading my blog and you happen to be of Indian race), Indians are the greatest people alive. And I have shit load of Indian friends, LOVE YOU RUDHRALEKHA. I also hate it when people keep giving me weird stares. It makes me feel ugly and self-conscious. HAHAHAHA, wtf.

Anyways, I've updated the playlist.

And, I so do not look like Dawn Yeo -_-

BUSY BUSY SLEEPY SLEEPY

damn bloody late nights.

sms ninjas.

walking and walking and non-stop walking.

blisters.

new slippers.

bloodshot eyes.

suntanning.

eating.

and hell load of eating.

scaring.

midnight strolls.

bad boys (?)

good boys.

nono, bad good boys.

laughing.

thinking.

eating.

hello, you're so damn fucking beautiful.

Christmas is coming :DDDD

candy canes.
the Holiday.

eating again.

missing missing.

thinking.

a lot of thinking.

like a lot a lot of thinking.

i want to write to you, (or should i say it?)

sleeping smiling head.

i'm afraid i'll break your heart.

i have super bad sense of direction.

good short-term memory,

hopeless long-term memory.

yah, i have super duper goddamn bad sense of direction i can't stand myself.

okay byebye.

SLOW DOWN PLEASE.

It's been a damn long time since I've blogged so I'll update for the sake of updating, enjoy :D
WARNING: IMAGE-HEAVY POST

Last Sunday evening I followed Jady to Expo. I've been travelling on the green line like 324234242 times. SUPER FAR MAN. Yeah, to sum up, I almost stole the red clutch I saw from the John Little Warehouse Sale but the scaredy cat in me, NOPE! Hahaha. I SO WANT AN IPOD NANO BUT RED ISN'T IN SINGAPORE.

YAAAAAAA AND MY TEAM GAVE UP ON THE TCM PROJECT COS IT'S DRIVING US MAD AND NUTS. Thanks Syam, Ah Seng, and Huzai anyways, filled up the boring days of weekends with restless researchings and fruitless time spent in the airport other than the FIRST SUNDAE YOU HAD IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SYAM! :X
And of course, who doesn't anticipate the arriving holidays (although it's only a month) :\
Damn, we're all growing old. Was pretty caught up with my IG and trips to and fro NHG Pharmacy, trying to grasp as much information we need for the upcoming events (us, being trainers) and briefing the students who signed up for the trip to NHG Pharmacy. It wasn't as bad as I thought, it was pretty easy. 3DA POINTS HERE I COMEE!

Tuesday evening, went out with Sharlene Piggy <3

So like after 2345435322 dinosaur years, we finally reached MoS by cab FOOT! We were like two distressed damsels at Cityhall flagging for damn bloody cabs but none wants to pick us up. No matter how much we showed our skin. HAHAHAHAH WTF. Okay nonsense, we don't stoop that low okay. Saw a few familiar faces too, the Nab twins and Nasuha! And a few of the secondary school people. MoS wasn't that fun because of the zillion teeny boppers (okay I know we're like 1 year away from 18 too but..) Smoove was awesome but it was too packed so we were at the main arena most of the time. Got caught by sgnightlife photographers as well, so it was all kinda exciting. I look like -_- nevermind.

So this is how we looked like after MoS. Actually worse than that lah, me especially, I looked worse. The pimple on the nose isn't helping much :\

We thought of cabbing home since I was sleeping over at Sharlene's but we decided to sleep along the streets to wait for the first bus home. After clubbing we slacked outside 7-11 with Marcos, Zul, Nick, and company. Prata at 4 in the morning and then we were super beat.



Reached Sharlene's place only around 7 and then BOM. DREAMLAND.

Thanks for having me over babe, love you! <3>

Condescending

Someone says if you're in a team, you don't see any assholes around you, it's cause it's you. So i'm like the pain in the ass everywhere. And if something's pleasurable, I'll try to make it worse so that it feels better :\

HAHAHAH

ali says:
that night also, our class at pasir ris beach.
ali says:
4am +
ali says:
we saw 'something' sia.
ali says:
srsly. cos that time ghost month.
ali says:
NAT ARE YOU SCARED.
examiner le coeur says:
-________________________________________-
ali says:
hahahahaha.
examiner le coeur says:
I NOT SCARED
ali says:
really?!!!!!!!!
examiner le coeur says:
WAIT I CLOSE CURTAINS FIRST

doot doot doot!

I have so much things to say but I can't.

I'm hungry, and I have to go.

THE MOON RAPED ME

WOAH, like finally a decent entry here. I've been so so busy, I need some time off. TO SLEEP.

Well, this week I skipped Cognitive halfway and went to catch a movie with some of the classmates- Casino Royale. Never been a fan of action films, but this proved me wrong. It's a damn good show, but was quite draggy at some parts. Culture lesson for this week was fun, we got the chance to go out of school and my team went to Esplanade and explored architecture.



So that's Dinie flexing his biceps and huge arms time and time again. Yeah, I'm also super caught up with Pharmaceutical IG. The setting up of the Apothecary in RP and proposals and all the shiznits :/ I need some sleep man, my eyebags are reaching the floor.

Well last night, I had a really nice chat with Nat on MSN past midnight. Appreciate it alot alot :)
Crap thoughts up in the head :/

KISSES TO JADEY! <3

♥

Like all the fools who play it smart,
lose your head just for your heart, just for your heart.

RANDOM

Okay, I got tagged by lenethemean.

1. how old did you wish you were?
7!

2. where were you when 911 happened?
i was flying with Peterpan in the sky

3. what do you do when vending machine steals your money?
i'll hit the machine until my hands hurt and stupidly walk away.

4. do you count yourself kind?
sometimes yes, sometimes i don't want to share my things, can?

5. if you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
ankle or my thunder thighs so that i can camouflage the flabs. hahaha.

6. if you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
french & malay!

7. do you know your neighbours?
of course, they are my granny and pops!

8. what do you consider a vacation?
good food/drinks, and of course with friends and a hell lot of laughters and stupid stuffs.

9. do you follow your horoscope?
when i am bored with my life.

10. would you move for the person you love?
maybe.. haha

11. are you touchy feely?
EEYER. poke me and you die.

12. do you believe that opposites attract?
nothing is impossible.

13. dream job?
someone who works in a magazine company. or pay me to travel.

15. favorite place to go on weekends?
cityhall. hahahaha

16. showers or baths?
baths!

17. do you paint your nails?
yes!

18. do you trust people easily?
nope!

19. what are your phobias?
height and death

20. do you want kids?
in the future.

21. do you keep a handwritten journal?
i have so many, which one? haha.

22. where would you rather be right now?
on top of a high cliff and screaming my lungs out! (pig, we should go find some high place and do it together okay?)

23. who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
my little sister who i very much would like to bite her head off.

24. heavy or light sleeper?
light sleeper.

25. are you paranoid?
YES, VERY.

26. are you impatient?
sometimes.

27. who can you relate to?
so many people.

28. how do you feel about interracial couples?
friendly and fun. ahah.

29. have you been burned by love?
nooppe! that explains why.

30. what's your favorite pick-up line?
no pick-ups, i drop them. hahahaha. kk not funny.

31. what's your main ringtone on your mobile?
justin timberlake's my love.

32. what were you doing at midnight last night?
watching mtv.

33. what did the last text on your cellphone say?
"sorry seh."

34. whose bed did you sleep in last?
ritz carlton sofa.

35. what color shirt are you wearing?
BPSS PE SHIRT!

36. most recent movie you watched?
step up! hotstuff indeed!

37. name three things you have on you at all times.
wallet, handphone and gloss.

38. what color are your bedsheets?
purpur.

39. how much cash do you have on you right now?
30 bucks.

40. what is your favorite part of the chicken?
breast! wooohoo.

41. what's your favorite town/city?
California, Californiaaaaaa, here we come!

42. i can't wait till...?
CHRISTMAS!

43. what did you have for dinner last night?
mee pok.

44. do you own a gun?
no.

45. what do you prefer to drink in the morning?
coffee!

46. where do you think you'll be in 10 years time?
ask me that 10 years later.

47. last thing you ate?
bacon and bread.

48. what songs do you sing in the toilet?
so many, which one? hahahahaha!

49. last thing that made you laugh?
when my daddy was singing so loudly at marina and everyone stared at us. malu sia.

50. worst injury you've ever had?
1 whole stretch of blue-blacks on my right leg.

51. does someone have a crush on you?
HOW I KNOW RIGHT. so shy.

52. what's your favorite candy?
gummy bears!!!

53. what song do you want played at your funeral?
hallelujah by jeff buckley cos it's so damn fucking sad. and i expect all of you to cry your eyeballs out.

54. four random people to do this?
nana banana, zack and you and you.

WHAT? WHAAAAAAT?!

GAWD, FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
I can only do so much right?

I felt like a loser for half an hour today. Maths is making it all worse la, much more worse. We learn A Maths of all the things in this world and I know kosong. KOSONG, wtf. We're suppose to finish doing the bloody worksheet of 20 questions but I feel the whole thing is talking rubbish. Thank you very much. It's raining and it's so freaking cold in the classroom and I forgot to bring my sweater :/

I just hope the day will end with a good ending. Gonna meet Nat afterwards, hope we'll have fun. I don't know la, everytime this 'fun' turns out to be awkwardness. I think it's me, ME, ME. Argh, the cause of how my mood is now is not PMS. NOT PMS, you hear? I don't know why everytime when one's in a bad mood (especially girls) will blame it on PMS, it's not their fucking fault. You don't bleed at your vagina every single day. You are angry for a reason, you're like that for a reason and it's fucking not PMS you retards. WOO, that felt a lot better. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me also. I need serious therapy, and I don't mean retail.

Maybe the reason I clung to hoping was because I knew. I knew that it wouldn't happen and that's why I felt I had to hope so hard. So desperately, I hoped. It seems I spend most of my life distracting myself from reality.
Copeland

Sigh.

As how I had felt about today, not going to meet Nat cos her mom didn't approve of her going out today :\ & condolences to Ilyas uncle who passed away. Stupid Black Friday, go away.
:(:(:(

I WELCOME A BEATING

I love how whenever I post entries here, it feels like talking to a wall. Which would be fine, if that's what I wanted. Which it is, sometimes. But right now I want someone to talk to me. I need to communicate with people. I need contact.

Nights like these the jarring sound of the telephone ring is a part of a perfect existence.

--

The things we do just to stay alive,

My head feels tired and stuffy. I've been pretty preoccupied with school, and friends lately. Which is a good thing (?), I guess. It's like flea month, and I've been going to fleas quite alot this week. One at Home club with Sharlene and the other with Matt & Syam. They definitely have good stuffs at fleas but not that much at Home club. I bought myself a set of 4 bangles from Home club. The sellers were damn fine and friendly, hur. Had a great time with my piggies. Caught Step Up on Monday night, which explained why I skipped school on Tuesday (overslept!). Fun fun fun, ♥! Would definitely look forward to more hang outs. Anyway today after school, I headed down to Bishan with Jadey before I left her to meet Ruth & Muks goondusamys. Really had a bad day today, glad to have them made my day. Was laughing like some fucked up girl la. Blame it on Long John. It has always been them, especially when I had Milo Freeze. Then I purposely fooled around with my camera, embarassing Muks by snapping him like a stalker. Hahaha. TOMORROW, FRIDAYYYYYYYYYY! Weekends. Gah, what's the point of weekends when you don't go out and be a zombie. I have so many things to do. Meet-ups with girls who wants shoes, and take photos of my barangs, or hopefully, be able to get a place at upcoming flea markets. I srsly need to sell off my junkies wunkies. A big fat savings account would make me smile too.

Gonna go develop my photos tomorrow with Nat hopefully! Miss her hugs! I need a hug! COME COME. HAHAHAH :X Shit, shut up la.

I ignore you because, I like you?! Wtf.

HERRO!

GAYGAYGAYGAY! FINALLY I'M BACK! LOVING THE NEW TEMPLATE BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO START TO LIKE SMALL THINGS (SMALL FONTS & SUCH) SO GET USED TO IT. HAWHAWHAW! I'M GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Be back!

bodoh

(Okay, photos taken by Nat yesterday.)
I can only describe my mood for these past few days - F.U.C.K.E.D. No, I haven't lost my virginity. So many problems at home, financially, and internally, socially. Fuck, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Anyway today had Pharmaceutical IG meeting. Me, vice-head & Jade, president of Merchandising comm. So we did planning of objectives for the sub-comm and prepared presentation for next week then slacked at the OSC after that.
Just came home from a yummy dinner. And being the pig I am, I decided to go grab Twister ice-cream from the petrol kiosk. I don't know why suddenly all the strange stares are at me. A group of mats were there looking looking. GORGE YOUR EYES AH, SEE SEE. Gawsh, does that mean I look weirder. Do I have dandruff on my hair, do I have a huge ass, do I have extra ears sticking out of my head. THEN WHY MAN, TELL ME WHY. Okay, this one not important. What is important is I still have my friends, and I want to develop my photos and be a happy girl.

WHY IS MONEY SO FUCKING IMPORTANT. GODDAMNIT, knnbccb.
OMG, I'M BECOMING SO BAD. VULGARVULGAR TSKTSK!!!

tell shannon her crafts are ready

you would make the prettiest of brides (oh baby i got you workin got you workin from the nine to five) you would make the prettiest rape victim (oh baby i got you workin got you workin from the nine to five) god damn i hope i overdose your mouth is open and better suits a bottle opener than to talk my pathetic fucking ears off i'd jab an ice pick in my eardrums if i could someday regain my hearing i envision (more more more) snapping your neck (more more more) tilt back your head and fucking take it milligram count, you've gone to far diagnosis, finally gone

---
(Don't read if you find 'fuck' irritating)
Red eyes, sleepy head, dying brain, crammed lungs, missing heart.

I felt really fucked inside out today, since morning when the mother.. (shan't continue or I'll really start to crack) Walked to school with Zack and Aaron as usual. And as usual, I'm always blur in the morning because I just want to fucking sleep at home and not go to school anymore. What if there's no such things as money, what if there's no such things as school. Okay, I'm blabbering nonsense here so I guess it's better that I shut up. Internet is super laggy, and it makes me super frustrated and MSN is also being a bitch so it makes me super duper frustrated.

Anyway, I was really looking forward to after school because I get to see Asla darling, and Nat! :D Happy happy. But PMS just had to come and take over my body so again, I felt more than f. It's so stupid how my mood can be all over the place. One minute I'll be laughing for no reason, and the other I'll be as quiet as a sheep and then I'll just stare at you, and and.. :X Forget it, I just need a shoulder right now. Someone, lend me please.

So yes, went to support Tim at esplanade library, he was playing and singing. It was alright :) Saw Farhan, Ritzuan and Kenneth, all were good. Hope we could all hang out soon after the bloody O's. Fuck, my feet is aching, and so are my eyes. You know what, I need to learn more malay words and speak them or else I won't know I got scolded as a princess who crossed in between the two other malays. I'm not being racist here la okay. Sorry to the three malays if you got offended by my walking in between you guys because I got blocked by something in front of me okay. Okay. I haven't developed my photos and I want to. Hope the next time we meet, Nat and Ilyas could go. I love Nat's cameraaaaaaa :(

It's 11:52pm and I bluffed my mom I had dinner already when I didn't. I need food. I can't stand how the guy with tattoo was staring at me on the train. I felt like I was a freak. AHHH SHUT UP ALY. Stupid MSN, knnbccb.

TAMMY LOVE;

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.
I promise not to say ffff in front of you.

things to do when you have absolutely nothing

Okay basically when you are bored, you do stupid things. Like what I'm doing right now.

1) Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message.

2) Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.

3) Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.

4) Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

5) Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.

6) Make a low buzzing noise
(Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.

7) Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
(Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.

HAHAHAHAHHAA WTF.